Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
