all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
