So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize