i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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