Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
