I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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