I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
