I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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