Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
