I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
