I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
