Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
