His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
