Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
