im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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