theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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