butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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