I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
