i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
