She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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