Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
