playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Drake has all the answers
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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