No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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