Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
