so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
