isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
