Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize