it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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