i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Less talking, more tequila
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
