I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
