glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
