hell yes lets make some ravioli
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
