Your face is a jimmy john
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
