In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
