At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
