Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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