We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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