I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize