Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
