my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
