it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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