At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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