OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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