I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
