i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When are your genitals available?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
