i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
