someone threw a dead crab at me
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
