Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
