Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize