"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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