Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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