Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
