found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
