is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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