I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
