i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's like iHOP with fire
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
