the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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