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I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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