We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
