Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
