In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When are your genitals available?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize