I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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