You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
